


Ashes to the Ocean

by SilverEyedRaven



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Character Death, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Ocean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-02
Updated: 2015-04-02
Packaged: 2018-03-20 19:58:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3663027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverEyedRaven/pseuds/SilverEyedRaven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Armin gets to see the ocean.</p>
<p>Eren doesn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ashes to the Ocean

Armin can smell the ocean before he can see it. It curls damp on his tongue and rattles in his bones, a deep salty taste that reminds him of the food at one of the fancy dinner parties he had gone to one time to ask for funds for the Scouting Legion, dressed in scratchy suits and made to be praised as a ‘new intellectual prodigy, will turn the fight against the titans on its head’. It takes all his willpower not to just kick his horse into a gallop. He’s at the front of the line, he could do it, but that would break formation and piss Mikasa – _Captain_ Mikasa, he reminds himself sharply, off. He glances at her anyway, silently urging her to move faster, and she sighs, then moves them all into a faster trot.

They pull to a stop at the edge of the forest, and Armin can _hear_ the ocean, shifting and spraying just beyond the cliff. Armin forces himself to tie his horse to a tree, movements slow and gentle as he pulls the package from his saddlebag and cradles it to his chest.

The ocean is more beautiful than he could have ever imagined. Green and blue curls around black rocks, spraying up into white droplets across the cliff. It reminds him so strongly of Eren, the wild beauty and deep green in his eyes. He almost turns to ask him what he thinks, is it just as wonderful as he thought it would be? Did their childhood dreams and promises come true? Bur Armin stays silent instead, tears he thought he had managed to cry out pricking at his eyes and fingers tightening around the bundle in his arms. He sits down on the ledge, legs underneath him, pressing his face to the cloth that covers the urn that holds his boyfriend’s ashes and sobbing.

Mikasa is next to him when he’s composed himself enough to look up, lying down with her legs dangling over the edge of the cliff. He can hear the joyful shouts of his friends to his left, down and a little ways away on the rocky shore.

Mikasa sits up and swipes under her eyes, and he can see the dampness in her lashes as she looks at him.

“Eren would like it here.” She says quietly, shifting her gaze out to the sea.

“Yeah.”

Armin unwraps the urn silently. The blue glazed clay is cool under his palms, a hollow reminder that Eren’s sparks and hot flames are no more.

“I found a nice place to put that.” Mikasa says. “This hollow in a cave, when the ocean moves up, I think I remember reading something about that with you and him,” she looks sideways at him for confirmation, he nods. “When the ocean rises it fills the cave somewhat, but not high enough to dislodge it, so it’ll be right next to the sea but without it being disturbed.”

The cave is chilly, the floor a mix of wet sand and smooth pebbles, but the hollow is dry and the bottom flat, and Armin shivers at the finality of placing the urn there.

He and Mikasa linger there for a while, lacking the words to say anything and the willpower to leave, even though the cold is making them shiver and ache. They stay until the sky is dark and water sloshes up over their boots, until Mikasa says “Let’s go, Armin” and slogs off. He can hear a soft sob echo through the cave, and he puts a hand on the urn again. Maybe it’s just because he’s so cold, but it feels warm and alive.

“I’ll see you again someday. Wait for me until then, okay?”

It’s probably just the ocean, but Armin swears he hears someone whisper back.

“ _Okay_.”

**Author's Note:**

> feedback is incredible! kudos are appreciated!
> 
> (bri wanted sads for her birthday. i happily obliged.)  
> (my tumblr is bertholdt-fubarr)


End file.
